alone together

It's Hari Raya today..... so far so good.

I just read a friend's blog and I realised that I am really not aware of whatever she is going through or had gone through. I asked myself, what kind of friend am I? People are really a complicated, you can never really know a person 100% as I think that most of us, if not all of us, are acting, pretending to be the person we are not. I wonder if any of us has ever been 100% honest, to ourself and others? I think the answer will be no. We are not honest, at all. And because of this, we become lonely. 

nobody

Haha...what a sad title. Well recently there is a hit Indonesian song which is about this man who is pleading for someone to marry him as he feels he is left on the shelf as all his friends are married... tak laku laku. hehe.

For me, i refuse to believe that i am tak laku. Actually i thought my beliefs have changed, but actually i still believe that one day i will meet with a man, who i love and loves me. and one day, I will get married to this man. I will be lying to myself if i say i am not affected by this singleness but i am not despair. It is indeed lonely at times, but I am refusing to let go of this hope, the hope that one day I will meet someone, someone for me. Without this hope, then I have nothing to console myself, to look forward to.

I hope, and I hope my hopes will be a reality.

update

wah it's been sometime since i last blog.... and its been nearly 4 mths since i started on my new job!!!!

haha. everything is going well rite now, i am loving the new job, especially the hours. Now i have more time for myself. With this new job, the line between my personal life and work life is more distinct... i like it that way. it feels  more healthier somehow.

Well, i am adjusting well to the new job, i miss the peeps at my previous job which was expected. buti am glad i went ahead with the decision to change. change is at times, inevitable and also good.

i was reading a book and this question pop to my mind...... r the things we do or compromise an act of maturity or is it an admission of defeat.? Well if i look into myself, there are changes in ideals and also my views on certain things.... i know that as you grow up, you have to make certain compromises.... but how far do you compromise? and is compromising an act of maturity.... or is it just you giving up?

pleasing everybody

I have left my job and in two days time, I will be joining my new work place. excited? yes... but scared too. Hopefully it turns out well and I will find the drive that I am looking for.... perhaps on a second thought, it should not be the place, the drive should be within you. Insyaallah, I will be driven there and I hope that I will carry out my work with zest.

Today, I heard that a particular doctor actually commented about how we cannot make it. I was thinking, is the Dr actually referring to me as the Dr is from my ward. To be honest, it does keeps playing in my mind.... am I really 'cannot make it'? After some thoughts, I have to tell myself that wherever you are... whatever you do... there will always be some people who will not be satisfied. As long as you know that not everything you've done fails or brings trouble to others, as long as your conscience is clear, I think that will be sufficient. It is difficult, but Ithink to survive, to remain positive in this life, u have to be alright with having people who are not happy with you. People are usually very quick to judge anyway, the important people are the ones you care about, these people opinions are what matters.