It's been really really long since.
A lot of things have changed, and yet on the outside, lots of things still remain the same.
I guess, now i am really on the brink of a decision. But as i am typing this, i come to a realisation that the decision is not mine to make. It's with God. I guess what i am deciding is whether to give the relationship a chance, but now that that i'm writing this, I already have been giving it a chance.
We can plan, we can think we decide this and that. But in reality, some things are really not in our grasp. Some may say this is a fatalistic position to take, but i don't agree. I always fear of settling, but what is settling. If dah jodoh, then it will happen. that's not settling.
How do you know if you like a guy? or love him in fact? this is a question that i can never really answer. is it just thinking about him all the time? is that enough? is it seeing him in you future?I think to a certain extent, it is your decision. loving is a decision you make. now, i can't decide, is it because i am afraid. I am afraid that he don't like me. I am afraid that he decide not to love me. But that's life rite? life is not black and white. how can i wait for the other party to decide, then i decide.
Aaaahhh i think the more i write, the more confuse i become.
